Friday, July 18, 2008

Archbishop Jensen - Sydney's Evangelical Travel Agent.

Archbishop Jensen - the MLM Man of God
As the text says, Archbishop Peter Jensen is "both a Man of God and a YTB Travel Agent Level 5 Director."

Peter's very own multi-level travel-marketing web-page is here. After reading his praise at this site ("A minister at his best") go and meet his boss - the enterprising Latina Renee, who may know something about him that the Sydney Anglican Synod doesn't.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Three Wise Monkeys

Venables demonstrates his understanding of Peter Jensen's resources.
Bishop Greg Venables clearly believes everything Peter Jensen tells him.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Sydney Anglicans Don't Worry About Vestments

Purple Bad: Blue Good
Archbishop Jensen wears a blue shirt instead of a purple one because he believes it makes him more relevant, and that people will be more likely to join his church.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Open Wide and say 'Aahh'

Peter Jensen
Some captions are better left unsaid.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Honest Pete's Quality Cars

In an alternate universe Peter Jensen is employed in the motor industry.
Would you buy a used car from this man?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Size isn't everything.

Peter Jensen illustrates what he means by '6 inches'.
With only a modicum of shame, Archbishop Peter Jensen explains a great deal.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Blessed are the Peacemakers

Archbishop Peter Jensen attempts to resolve the schism between himself and Father Christian Troll

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Something Spooky

Peter Jensen and a strange Occult figure?
Who or what is that mysterious dark figure behind the Archbishop's left shoulder? And what is being whispered into his ear?

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The Archbishop of Sydney thinks you're funny.

Peter Jensen thinks you're a joke.
Remember, he's not laughing with you, he's laughing at you.

Friday, July 4, 2008

God's love: Peter Jensen has it measured.

Peter Jensen shows God's love is even broader than his own.
Archbishop Jensen demonstrates his understanding of the breadth of God's love.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Archbishop Jensen, please meet Dr. Freud.

archbishop Jensen - Mmmmmmm
When speaking on radio, Archbishop Jensen always finds the microphone pleasantly reminds him of something else.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Peter Jensen - never in the middle.

Archbishop Jensen: Man of the Far Right.
With other Christian leaders Archbishop Jensen naturally finds himself on the far right.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Peter Jensen takes a stand against theft.

Eventually Archbishop Jensen always find the guilty man.
One of the new Deacons helped himself to biscuits from Archbishop Jensen's personal jar, so he made them all stand at the front of the class until the guilty party confessed.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Peter Jensen Sings from the Heart

Peter Jensen - 'I Did it My Way'
At the GAFCON karaoke night Archbishop Jensen delivered a pssionate rendition of the only secular song he knows: "My Way".

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Achbishop Peter Jensen: Master of Jedi techniques.

Peter Jensen - master of the dark side of the force.
Close inspection reaveals Archbishop Jensen applying a Darth Vader 'Force Choke' to his critics.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Archbishop Jensen is pro-women.

Archbishop Jensen: sharing the things which really matter.
Peter Jensen may be opposed to sharing leadership with women, but he's quite happy to share public toilets.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Like A Prayer

Peter Jensen loves theway he feels when ipersonating Madonna
With his microphone headpiece, Archbishop Jensen feels he bears a strangely exciting resemblance to Madonna.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Archbishop Jensen expects his ironing to be perfect.

Peter Jensen cannot abide wrinkled laundry.
Moments after seeing this picture Peter Jensen had the woman who presses his shirts executed.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

He believes he's on a mission from God.

Archbishop Jensen - an true Rock 'n' Roll Animal
Few people are aware that Peter Jensen was an original member of The Blues Brothers.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Achbishop Jensen - Man of Humour

The Peter Jensen Jokebook - a Thin Volume.
Peter Jensen's collection of favourite jokes is small, and quite old, but it still makes him smile.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Archbishop Jensen has a Biblical Libido.

Peter and Christine Jensen enjoy a bit of Scriptural slap and tickle.
There's no hope of a successful career in the Sydney Anglican Diocese if the thought of Peter and Christine Jensen have sex makes you feel nauseous.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Peter Jensen Shares his Vision.

In Sydney 'common vision' means wearing the Archbishop's glasses.
Archbishop Jensen insists his Bishops wear spectacles like his so that they'll see things his way.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Practical Ministry

Being Archbishop of Sydney involves many roles, but Peter Jensen finds serving as a bookend the most satisfying.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Bald Men Sometimes Mistrust Archbishop Jensen

Bald Men envy Peter Jensen's coiffure.
A spirit of mistrust often falls upon bald people when in the presence of Peter Jensen's splendid coiffure.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Archbishop Jensen Loves Making Us Laugh

Peter Jensen is a natural comedian.
When telling jokes Peter Jensen always has a twinkle in his eye.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Sydney Icons

Archbishop Peter Jensen was astonished to learn that he only came second in poll to determine Sydney's most famous icons, particularly given all of his family voted.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Everyone Wants to be Near Him

It's a great honour to be photographed standing next to Archbishop Jensen.
The woman on the left is understandably angry: the man between her and Archbishop Jensen squeezed in just before the picture was taken.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Archbishop Jensen: Artistic Muse

Peter Jensen inspires artists to achieve their very best.
This astonishingly life-like portrait depicts Peter Jensen with one of his few family members not employed by the Church. Suggestions that it is the artist's impression of our Archbishop under the influence of cannabis are incorrect.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Positive Role Model for Little People

Dressing depressed people to look like Peter Jensen always cheers them up.
Short people feel happier if they wear glasses like Archbishop Jensen's.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Peter Jensen - the Life of the Party

 Archbishop Jensen - the real Godfather.
Nothing breaks the ice like Archbishop Jensen's impersonation of Marlon Brando in The Godfather. His resemblance to Don Corleone is uncanny.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Archbishop Jensen: Friend of All

Archbishop Peter Jensen: Man of the People
Archbishop Jensen is loved by all kinds of people, but his greatest admirers aren't human.

Photo courtesy of Caliban's Dream

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Surfing Legend

Archbishop Peter Jensen - Australian Surfing Legend
Few people realise Archbishop Jensen is also a champion professional surfer. With tousled bleached-blonde and a cheeky smile he epitomises the great Australian outdoors.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Peter Jensen: Man of Tradition

Archbishop Peter Jensen - Man of Tradition
Despite the advent of internet resources, Archbishop Peter Jensen still prefers to find numbers the traditional way, using the telephone book.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Smiling in the Face of Pressing Need.

Archbishop Peter Jensen - smiling Bravely Despite a Pressing Need
With hands demurely folded, Archbishop Peter Jensen smiles bravely despite desperately needing to go to the toilet.