Monday, June 30, 2008

Peter Jensen Sings from the Heart

Peter Jensen - 'I Did it My Way'
At the GAFCON karaoke night Archbishop Jensen delivered a pssionate rendition of the only secular song he knows: "My Way".

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Achbishop Peter Jensen: Master of Jedi techniques.

Peter Jensen - master of the dark side of the force.
Close inspection reaveals Archbishop Jensen applying a Darth Vader 'Force Choke' to his critics.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Archbishop Jensen is pro-women.

Archbishop Jensen: sharing the things which really matter.
Peter Jensen may be opposed to sharing leadership with women, but he's quite happy to share public toilets.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Like A Prayer

Peter Jensen loves theway he feels when ipersonating Madonna
With his microphone headpiece, Archbishop Jensen feels he bears a strangely exciting resemblance to Madonna.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Archbishop Jensen expects his ironing to be perfect.

Peter Jensen cannot abide wrinkled laundry.
Moments after seeing this picture Peter Jensen had the woman who presses his shirts executed.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

He believes he's on a mission from God.

Archbishop Jensen - an true Rock 'n' Roll Animal
Few people are aware that Peter Jensen was an original member of The Blues Brothers.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Achbishop Jensen - Man of Humour

The Peter Jensen Jokebook - a Thin Volume.
Peter Jensen's collection of favourite jokes is small, and quite old, but it still makes him smile.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Archbishop Jensen has a Biblical Libido.

Peter and Christine Jensen enjoy a bit of Scriptural slap and tickle.
There's no hope of a successful career in the Sydney Anglican Diocese if the thought of Peter and Christine Jensen have sex makes you feel nauseous.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Peter Jensen Shares his Vision.

In Sydney 'common vision' means wearing the Archbishop's glasses.
Archbishop Jensen insists his Bishops wear spectacles like his so that they'll see things his way.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Practical Ministry

Being Archbishop of Sydney involves many roles, but Peter Jensen finds serving as a bookend the most satisfying.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Bald Men Sometimes Mistrust Archbishop Jensen

Bald Men envy Peter Jensen's coiffure.
A spirit of mistrust often falls upon bald people when in the presence of Peter Jensen's splendid coiffure.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Archbishop Jensen Loves Making Us Laugh

Peter Jensen is a natural comedian.
When telling jokes Peter Jensen always has a twinkle in his eye.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Sydney Icons

Archbishop Peter Jensen was astonished to learn that he only came second in poll to determine Sydney's most famous icons, particularly given all of his family voted.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Everyone Wants to be Near Him

It's a great honour to be photographed standing next to Archbishop Jensen.
The woman on the left is understandably angry: the man between her and Archbishop Jensen squeezed in just before the picture was taken.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Archbishop Jensen: Artistic Muse

Peter Jensen inspires artists to achieve their very best.
This astonishingly life-like portrait depicts Peter Jensen with one of his few family members not employed by the Church. Suggestions that it is the artist's impression of our Archbishop under the influence of cannabis are incorrect.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Positive Role Model for Little People

Dressing depressed people to look like Peter Jensen always cheers them up.
Short people feel happier if they wear glasses like Archbishop Jensen's.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Peter Jensen - the Life of the Party

 Archbishop Jensen - the real Godfather.
Nothing breaks the ice like Archbishop Jensen's impersonation of Marlon Brando in The Godfather. His resemblance to Don Corleone is uncanny.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Archbishop Jensen: Friend of All

Archbishop Peter Jensen: Man of the People
Archbishop Jensen is loved by all kinds of people, but his greatest admirers aren't human.

Photo courtesy of Caliban's Dream

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Surfing Legend

Archbishop Peter Jensen - Australian Surfing Legend
Few people realise Archbishop Jensen is also a champion professional surfer. With tousled bleached-blonde and a cheeky smile he epitomises the great Australian outdoors.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Peter Jensen: Man of Tradition

Archbishop Peter Jensen - Man of Tradition
Despite the advent of internet resources, Archbishop Peter Jensen still prefers to find numbers the traditional way, using the telephone book.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Smiling in the Face of Pressing Need.

Archbishop Peter Jensen - smiling Bravely Despite a Pressing Need
With hands demurely folded, Archbishop Peter Jensen smiles bravely despite desperately needing to go to the toilet.